Magic of Believing

Once upon a time, there were two little rose bushes named Judy and Jim.  These rose bushes were living very comfortably in a nursery, when one day, two people came in and took Judy, claiming they were expert gardeners and knew a great deal about rose bushes - and they did.  They planted Judy in a rich soil with the best combination of sunlight, water, and nourishment.  They kept the weeds and bugs away and handled Judy with kindness.   Judy flourished and grew big and beautiful roses, and if roses could feel - Judy was happy.

Two other people went to the nursery and took Jim, stating they were expert gardeners and knew everything about roses.  But they were really pizza kings from Chicago.  They planted Jim in sandy, salty soil, with too much heat in the day and too much cold in the night.  They watered Jim too much, and then too little, and they did nothing about the weeds and bugs.  In spite of these things, Jim survived but was wilted, stunted, and sorry looking.  Jim looked across the field at Judy and saw her beauty and decided (if a rose bush can decide) that the problem was he was just basically defective and no damn good.

Now, dear reader, if you could talk to a rose bush, I’m confident you would say, “Jim, it’s not you!  The experts were not experts, and it’s your environment that’s the problem.”   But to what purpose?  A little rose bush can’t walk, drive a car, or work.

However, time goes by, and Jim, by hook and by crook, learns to walk, talk, drive a car, and work.  He pulls himself out of the crummy environment and moves to where Judy is:  the rich, fertile, environment. And guess what?  Wrong!  Jim continues to wilt, and grow little, ugly roses.  Jim is so convinced that he’s defective that he decided, “What’s the use?  It wouldn’t do any good to even try.”

Well, what can you expect from a rose bush?

That story came from the book, Monsters and Magical Sticks, by Steven Heller, Ph.D and Terry Lee Steele, copyright 1987.

Lucky Judy.  She had great owners who spared no expense to give her the best soil, water, and nourishment money could buy.  She obviously got lots of care and attention.  Heck she was even hand weeded and debugged.  Wow!  The good life.  Spoiled.  Pampered even.  And she turned out to be so beautiful.

And then there’s poor Jim.  Well meaning owners, but obviously not experts.  Not the greatest soil in the world, but he made do.  Sure, there were plenty of bugs and weeds and even the occasional drought, but he survived didn’t he?  Maybe he’s not the best looking rose in the bunch, but he made it.

The story wants us to feel sorry for Jim, but I actually feel sorry for both of them.

]What happens to Judy when those owners move on?  Is she as tough as Jim?  I doubt it.  He may have had a hard life, but it’s made him stronger.  When I think of Judy I think of Paris Hilton.  Yeah, she’s gorgeous, but is that all she does is look pretty?  Jim’s got it made.  I mean look at him, he learned how to walk, and drive a car, and go to work to get himself out of his bad environment.  Pretty smart for a rose bush.  Jim’s tougher than we think.

Jim only has one problem really.  He compares himself to Judy.  How many of us compare ourselves to the Judy’s in the world.     We know who the Judy’s are.  They play sports, they’re on Tv and in the movies, they sing our favorite songs.  Look how beautiful they are, what a perfect life they have, how rich they are, what I wouldn’t give to be like them….  And like Jim, even if we were to somehow move ourselves to their rich environment,  as long as we think they are better than us,  and keep questioning our own self worth, we too will continue to wilt.

Just because we didn’t turn out to be as perfect as they are, does not mean we are defective, or no damn good.  We just have the same limiting beliefs that Jim did.  The trick is we have to let go of those beliefs.  We are no different from the Judy’s in the world.

In fact - when it comes right down to it - we all came from the same nursery anyway.