Magic of Believing

Looking around today, you might say it’s just a bit negative out there. 

First came the gas price wars, then the mortgage crash, then the stocks, and finally the banks.  People are losing their jobs, their homes, even their lives.  One man got so depressed he shot his family and then himself!  How depressing! 

So how in the world are we supposed to stay positive in such a negative world?

Here are 10 Ways to Beat The Stress and Stay Positive!

1. Stick To Your Values ­  List your top 5 values and live your life according to them.  No compromising.  If you’re a strict Vegan now, don’t change just because the economy stinks.  Hold on to your values.  You’ll be happy that you were true to yourself in the long run.
2. Establish Personal Goals ­ Set goals for things that are important to you. Exercising, a healthy diet, spending more time with your family.  Completing a goal is always rewarding and sure to cheer you up.
3. Don’t Let The Media Think For You ­  It’s easy to get caught up in the hype.  Don’t try and live your life according to someone else’s ideals.  We all know our family or health is way more important than what Paris Hilton is wearing today or what celebrity ‘X’ rap singer is eating for breakfast.
4. Get Spiritual ­  Now I’m not saying go religious if it’s not your cup of tea.  Spirituality covers a lot more ground than just mainstream religion.  Learn to get quiet, maybe meditate or try yoga.   It helps with stress and you may just learn something about yourself.
5. Step Away From the Computer and TV ­ Especially the TV.  And especially the nightly news.  You’re in a relaxed brainwave kind of mode anyway when you watch TV, so all we need is more negativity seeping into our subconscious right before we go to sleep. (or more pharmaceutical ads)  If you have to watch TV, turn of something funny.  Laughter, after all is good medicine.
6. Avoid Stressful Situations whenever Possible ­ We all know chronic stress is bad for us.  It turns on our internal fight or flight mechanism, which increases our heart rate, our blood pressure,  and sends even more adrenaline through our bloodstream (as if we don’t have enough already).  Traffic jam?  Take an alternate route.  Long line at the grocery store?  Move to a different line or go to another store.  Stress CAN be avoided.
7. Skip the Nightly News ­ I know, a repeat here, but well worth mentioning again.  News channels don’t make money selling feel good, inspirational stories.  Nope.  Disaster, Murder, Crisis, Rape.  That’s what sells.  Can you say ­ more stress?  Especially before going to bed?  Yikes!
8. Organize! ­ Are you disorganized like I am?  Sometimes I hate walking into my pig stye office.  I can feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about the mess I need to clean up.  Take small steps, a hour or two a week, or one day a month, and declutter.  You’ll be much happier walking into a neat and tidy room.  (note to self ­ read number 8 again and again)
9. Give Yourself Extra Time ­ I arrive at work about an hour before my shift starts.  Why so early I’m often asked.  I give myself extra time.  I hate getting rushed.  It’s avoidable stress.  Give yourself a little cushion by allowing extra time to get to where you’re going.  Don’t live your day as if it’s a race.  (it's not)
10. Your Response To Life Is A Choice ­ Every response is a choice.  If someone makes you angry, says something mean, or does something cruel, you really can’t change the situation once it’s already happened.  And you certainly can’t change the people involved,  really the only thing you CAN change is your response, or attitude.  Learn not to over­react.  And remember the little book...Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff!

 If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves. ~Thomas Edison

I was leaving work last week and had to go to the cafeteria to retrieve my lunchbox.  I was dreading it actually, as I knew what was going on inside (the cafe - not my lunchbox).  They were laying off our temps.  The looks on their faces - fear, anger, worry, but mostly fear.  It was a sight I did not want to see.

I’m afraid it’s happening everywhere.  This crazy economy of ours has everyone running scared.  Everyone is asking the same questions.  When will it stop?  Will I have a job next week?  Is it ever going to get better?  I wish I knew the answers, but I don’t.  But I do know this, don’t ever stop believing, don’t ever give up.

Don’t Stop Believing, 7 Steps to Success

1. Set Goals Whether you have a job, or not, everyone should set a goal.  My goal is to eventually have a job where I don’t have to worry about the economy, or getting laid off, or money coming in.  A goal is like a destination on a map. Put yourself in a boat and without a destination, where will you end up?  Wherever the current takes you?  Sounds like a scary way to live if you ask me.  With a destination in mind you’ll have a much better chance of getting there.
2. Take Action So you’ve got your map, you’re in your boat, now you have to start the engine.  You can’t just drift to your destination, that would take way too long, assuming the current is even going your way.  Get off your behinds and get moving!   One guy I used to work with lost his ID.  During new hire orientation, he could not provide it for them.  He stayed a temp until he could replace it.  Guess what, they laid off the temps. Yep, including him. He had a job!  But inactivity lost it.  Don’t wait.  Get up and get moving.
3. Be Confident Remember Henry Ford, “whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right”.  Train yourself to believe you can do anything, as impossible as it may seem, and you will.  Need motivation?  Read the stories on this website! Stories of impossible odds, plane crashes, disabilities, welfare, and yet they all succeeded.  You will too.  Be confident and believe.
4. Believe in the Possibilities The only thing holding you back, is you.  “I’m too old, I’ve never done that, I don’t think I can, I can’t afford it”.  You believe that, and you just created that reality for yourself.  Open yourself to the possibilities.  Anything is possible.  I can learn, I’ll find the money, I’m not afraid, I can do that!  Believe in yourself, and watch the magic happen.
5. Stop Worrying We all do it.  The trick is to stop.  Worry creates stress.  Stress creates disease.  Stress will make you sick, tired, depressed.  Stop it!  So what if you try and fail.  I tried my own business, and failed.  Like the Old Mule in the Well, you brush it off and step up.  Learn from your mistakes.  And try again.  And again.  And again.  As long as it takes.
6. Be Enthusiastic! Enthusiasm is the gas for your engine.  It’s what will keep you going.  It’s great you set your goal, you’re taking action, but you will get tired.  You will eventually slow down to a crawl, if not a full stop.  We all do.  Enthusiasm will shift you into a higher gear.  Read books, watch inspiring movies, whatever it takes.  It’s called a Positive Mental Attitude, or PMA.  Light your fire and take off!
7. Don’t Ever Give Up The journey may be long, but there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel.  Strive for it.  You’re only defeated if you think you are.  Remember Edison found 1000 ways to NOT make a light bulb before he finally succeeded.  Millions of people dream of being successful, yet only a few ever make it.  Why?  The rest give up.  Don’t be a quitter.  Don’t stop believing.

An amazing entry from the blog of Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert.

Adams had suffered from Spasmodic Dysphonia, a disorder in which the part of the brain that controls speech essentially shuts down. Adams believed that just because no one else had recovered from this condition - it didn’t mean that he shouldn’t. He knew the doctors could not fix him, so he set about to fix himself.  Talk about belief.  As we say,  If You Can Believe, All Things Are Possible.

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“I asked my doctor – a specialist for this condition – how many people have ever gotten better. Answer: zero. While there’s no cure, painful Botox injections through the front of the neck and into the vocal cords can stop the spasms for a few months. That weakens the muscles that otherwise spasm, but your voice is breathy and weak.

The weirdest part of this phenomenon is that speech is processed in different parts of the brain depending on the context. So people with this problem can often sing but they can’t talk. In my case I could do my normal professional speaking to large crowds but I could barely whisper and grunt off stage. And most people with this condition report they have the most trouble talking on the telephone or when there is background noise. I can speak normally alone, but not around others. That makes it sound like a social anxiety problem, but it’s really just a different context, because I could easily sing to those same people.

To state the obvious, much of life’s pleasure is diminished when you can’t speak. It has been tough.

But have I mentioned I’m an optimist?

Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn’t mean I can’t be the first. So every day for months and months I tried new tricks to regain my voice. I visualized speaking correctly and repeatedly told myself I could (affirmations). I used self hypnosis. I used voice therapy exercises. I spoke in higher pitches, or changing pitches. I observed when my voice worked best and when it was worst and looked for patterns. I tried speaking in foreign accents. I tried “singing” some words that were especially hard.

My theory was that the part of my brain responsible for normal speech was still intact, but for some reason had become disconnected from the neural pathways to my vocal cords. (That’s consistent with any expert’s best guess of what’s happening with Spasmodic Dysphonia. It’s somewhat mysterious.) And so I reasoned that there was some way to remap that connection. All I needed to do was find the type of speaking or context most similar – but still different enough – from normal speech that still worked. Once I could speak in that slightly different context, I would continue to close the gap between the different-context speech and normal speech until my neural pathways remapped. Well, that was my theory. But I’m no brain surgeon.

The day before yesterday, while helping on a homework assignment, I noticed I could speak perfectly in rhyme. Rhyme was a context I hadn’t considered. A poem isn’t singing and it isn’t regular talking. But for some reason the context is just different enough from normal speech that my brain handled it fine.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick.
Jack jumped over the candlestick.

I repeated it dozens of times, partly because I could. It was effortless, even though it was similar to regular speech. I enjoyed repeating it, hearing the sound of my own voice working almost flawlessly. I longed for that sound, and the memory of normal speech. Perhaps the rhyme took me back to my own childhood too. Or maybe it’s just plain catchy. I enjoyed repeating it more than I should have. Then something happened.

My brain remapped.

My speech returned.

Not 100%, but close, like a car starting up on a cold winter night. And so I talked that night. A lot. And all the next day. A few times I felt my voice slipping away, so I repeated the nursery rhyme and tuned it back in. By the following night my voice was almost completely normal.

When I say my brain remapped, that’s the best description I have. During the worst of my voice problems, I would know in advance that I couldn’t get a word out. It was if I could feel the lack of connection between my brain and my vocal cords. But suddenly, yesterday, I felt the connection again. It wasn’t just being able to speak, it was KNOWING how. The knowing returned.

I still don’t know if this is permanent. But I do know that for one day I got to speak normally. And this is one of the happiest days of my life.”